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February 09, 2005

Ack, it's been a very busy however long. I've been running around like some sort of chicken with it's head cut off. I actually went to church on Sunday night, it was certainly different. Aaron asked me to go with him, and really I didn't have much choice in the matter. I cannot say no to that guy. I think that's something that I might need to work on with guys, learning how to say no to them. Was a little hesitant in going at first, until I struck a deal with Aaron that if I went, he would sing to me in the carpark afterwards. How on earth could I pass that up?

So I went, sat very still for nearly two hours whilst they did the church thing. It wasn't too bad though. Aaron and I sat in the back somewhere, because we arrived a tad bit late you see, I couldn't find the right shoes to wear with my skirt. Honestly, I have never had any clothing that could be considered my 'Sunday best', I spent ages on the phone to Aaron before I went trying to decide what would be best to wear. But anyhow, we ended up sitting near the back, where Becky eventually found us when she got there nearly 20 minutes late. She sat in front of us, and kept on turning around trying to talk to me. I was being very, VERY quiet, and very still.

After the speaking bit was done, everyone started milling around, doing the social thing. Aaron and I were joined at the hip. He spent most of the time holding my hand, which was sweet. I don't get to feel all giddy about guys very often anymore, I tend to get cynical towards most of them these days. But yeah, what can you do. It was funny though, I was talking to all of these missionaries, all of whom were giving Aaron funny looks. He's going on his mission soon, so it's kind of weird for them that he has recently attached himself to the non-member girl. I get where they're coming from with that, it is a little bit odd for someone to be doing that right before they head off for a few years, but what can you do? I'm not going to act differently just because someone is leaving, and by the look of things, he has taken the same approach.

But yeah, so apart from my interesting church experience, I have been working, going out, you know, the usual social life stuff. I didn't regret going to the church thingo with Becky last Friday, because I got to talk to Aaron properly, get rid of all of that nasty awkwardness we had happening between the two of us. Overally things are good now. I'm pretty darn happy. As everyone should be! :)

I got a phone call from my friend Shazza the other night, she was having a bitch about how Russell has been calling her, trying to be her friend and all of this bullshit. She's too nice to say anything to him about it, but thought that she would let me know. She knows that we organised to keep out of each others lives, which, believe it or not, means keeping away from each others friends. I don't go around talking to his anymore, he should stay the hell away from mine. So I sent him a message, telling him that none of my friends wanted anything to do with him, that they kneew what he had done, and they weren't interested. I think I managed to throw a few insults in there too. I actually deleted his number, but you know, 10 months of knowing it off heart means it's kinda stuck. So I sent him the message, got one back asking who this was, to which I replied that there is only one person in this world that hates him as much as I do. I think he kinda understood who it was after that. But yeah, I told him to get the fuck out of my life, and to keep the fuck away from my friends. He got pissy saying that he could call them if he wanted. So I told him that if that was the way he wanted to be, then I'd do the same, and we could see how many friends he would ahve left at the end of the week. He backed the hell done after that. He knows I'm not someone that he wants to fuck with. I know far too fucking much about him and some of the things that he has said and done for him to even think about messing around with me. So he just told me that he would leave them alone, to which I replied 'Have a nice life asshole' and that was that.

So yeah, that was interesting. I was proud of myself though, I did a good job, certainly better than I thought I would. Last time I confronted him like that I was crying and sobbing in the midst of it, you know, I still wanted to try and help him. But the past few months has turned that feeling into one of complete and total hatred. So I managed to just say what I wanted without getting emotionally caught up in it. It was nice to be able to finally say all those things I have wanted to for so long. So yeah, feeling pretty content in my own life now.

And I'm spent now!

Love to all!

Kimmy blogged @ | 11:24 AM |