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People don't think I get it. They think that I am full of myself, they think that I just wander around aimlessly in some kind of fairy tale land and never put in the effort that is required of me. They think I'm greedy, they think I have nothing to offer. I get it. I know what people think of me, and I know the truth about myself.
This was all brought on by an arguement I had with mum. Who else? It shits me that she thinks that just because I don't get the same school results as my sister and brother, and because I like to go out and actually do something social every now and then, that I am a total waste of space. I'm not as smart as my brother and sister, both of whom are real and true geniuses. It's been proven, they are honest to God 'gifted' people. It doesn't seem to matter that I'm smart, I know I am. I finished in the top 7% of the people in my state in Year 12. You don't do that if you're stupid. Fact of the matter is, I'm just not as smart as everyone else in my family. And you know, I get different stuff. I do English, social sciences, business studies, that sort of thing. They all do your pure maths and sciences shit. I'm just cut from a different cloth to them, but they take it to mean I'm stupid.
The only thing that I have had going for me in my family is the fact that I'm the prettiest of the lot of them. I'm not afraid to say it, because I know it's true. It always has been, and unless I have a disfiguring accident, more than likely always will be. But again, that contributes to the 'Kim is stupid' theory. It annoys me a great deal. GAH! I'm just frustrated because I know I'm more capable than tey think I am, but nothing that I can acheive academically is going to prove it, because they're smarter than I am. Every hour of study I do is like 10 minutes worth to them, ya know? *shrugs* I don't creally think I care all that much, I have the support of my friends, they know what I can do, and really, that's all I need. Sometimes I'd just like for one of my family members to acknowledge that I'm doing my best. I mean, come on, it takes a certain amount of savvy and intellect to be able to balance a (semi) boyfriend, going out just about every single night, studying, getting good marks AND managing to look as good as I do all the time! It's not something to mock. ;)
Ah well. That is my rant for the time being! ;)
Love to all.